A Family Affair
Dad and I never got over our problems. Ask me what happened, and you'll get a different answer from what my brothers might say. I think all the problems were based on his absolute love for his wife, my mother, and after her death, I was the only thing on Earth that reminded him of her, and that really, truly hurt him. Sure, I did some dumb things, but nothing so bad as to be asked to leave the house. Twice. I never did drugs. I didn't drink. I wasn't a member of some anti "something" group. No. I was just a kid searching to find himself. But for whatever reason, I didn't do it in a way that satisfied my Father. I regret those things I may have done, but I am not sure at this point in my life what those were, other than perhaps being an immature 18 and 19 year old.It had been several years since I moved away from Virginia, and it was very difficult to see my Dad again. It was the same for him. Until the day he died in 1986, he never was able to treat me as just "one of his boys." But he wanted to. He gave my wife Tracey and my daughter Kira all the love they wanted, and then some. He took them on long drives in the mountains, and gave them beautiful gifts. Me. Me he couldn't look in the eyes.
I miss my Father -- he has been gone almost 20 years now. I wish something could have been done to make our last years together more enjoyable for both of us, but it is too late. I still love him, and wish that things could have been different.
# posted by Farid Rushdi @ 2:05 PM 
